Ep. 69 Keeping Up Momentum

 Hi, and welcome to the mindful shape podcast. I'm Paula Parker, and I'm a life and weight loss coach. So a lot of my episodes are geared towards really helping you when you're kind of in the thick of it and maybe how to change your perspective or how to think about things. And today's going to be slightly different.

It's going to be when things are. Working for you when you're seeing progress and the weight is coming off. Okay. So you're eating the way you want to eat and things just kind of seem to be working for you. Sometimes when this is happening, people will have this nagging fear in the back of their heads that It's going to end that they will lose control around food again, and then we'll gain the weight back.

We can do this for a little while, right? It's working okay, but we can't keep up this momentum of success. Meaning we're eating well, feeling in control, but then something happens, something will happen. And we will just start overeating and feeling out of control again. So if we can keep up this momentum, when things are going well, then really we can keep the weight off that we've already released.

Okay. And continue moving on rather than this up and down, up and down, up and down that many of us have been doing for years and years. So if this is you and you're following a protocol and you are seeing results on the scale and it's feeling doable, and maybe it's even feeling easy at times, but if there's a slightest little lingering voice in the background telling you that it's not going to last  and That topic of fear that the way it's going to come back on is a really good one.

And it is on my list for another day in terms of a podcast episode. But today we're not going to address it completely. We're really going to focus on what you can do to stay in that good place that you're in now and really just how you can keep the good times rolling. Okay. So I want to share three must haves.

To maintain momentum. The first is don't rely on planning alone. So I know that I have emphasized planning in the past in terms of planning for any kind of obstacles. And I do think that's important, but whether you plan very specifically in terms of this is exactly what I'm going to eat today, or your plans are more general in terms of using the hunger scale or satiation, or just in general planning.

There will be times when there's a wrench in your plan. So for example, say you've planned a meal at home and then last minute, your partner decides to take you out for a romantic dinner. I don't know if that actually ever happens,  but  maybe a better example might be, maybe your boss takes you out for lunch and the only option is pizza takes you to, she takes you to a pizza place.

I was listening to a podcast recently and they're using this boss example and I was just waiting for it. I was just waiting for the heat and it came and I was so disappointed, right? So many bosses out there are women. Okay. Tangent. Okay. Okay. Now. Usually, there are options in every scenario, but let's just say that whatever you've planned is not going to happen for whatever reason.

Now there's two ways of dealing with this. The first is thinking, well, I can't stick to the plan, so screw it. I'm just going to eat without restraint. And not having any kind of restraint whatsoever, not eating in a responsible way that aligns with how you want to show up, how you want to be and what your goals are. 

And then the second is to make the next best choice given your North star. So what the heck is the North star? Your North Star might be something related to how you want to feel, how you want to show up in the world or a quality that you want to exemplify on your particular weight loss journey. So it's a framework really that we can use to rely on and it helps us filter our choices.

It helps us make decisions when our plans go haywire. So what I recommend is that you define your North Star for yourself so that you can quickly pivot when you need to. So I'll give you some examples. It could be that you really just, your North Star is that you want to feel the best you can possibly feel in your body.

So I say possibly feel because yeah, there's gonna be days when you just feel really tired or you're not gonna be feeling great. We're not holding ourselves to a standard where we feel amazing in our bodies all the time. Stop. It's not possible. It's not realistic, but you can make decisions in such a way that you are aiming to feel the best you possibly can, given what's going on for you.

Another one can be maybe that you are someone who just can take it or leave it, maybe when it comes to desserts. Maybe you want to be that person who can just take it or leave it when it comes to food. Maybe you want to be someone who trusts themselves, who has a lot of self trust, so no matter the circumstance, they just trust themselves, or if it's a specific quality, then you can use that as your North Star, so maybe it's that you are someone who exemplifies those qualities.

Self confidence or creativity or a sense of calm or clarity or maybe integrity. So maybe it's a quality that you want to exemplify. Then you use that as your guide versus the plan. For example, if you're eating at the pizza place and you want to feel the best you can possibly feel in your body, if that's your North Star, then you will likely choose the veggie pizza versus the meat lovers so that you don't get the heartburn.

Right? Or if you're out for dinner, you might start with a salad instead of the calamari. So we're not relying on willpower. We're not even really relying on a specific plan here. We're relying on something that's bigger than that. That's more about the intention with which we want to show up. For example, if you are someone who really trusts themselves, you won't worry about overeating at the restaurant.

You'll trust yourself to make good decisions and you'll also be paying attention to how you're feeling in your body as you're eating, right? How satiated you are. That's how you're going to determine how much to eat and when to stop. Not because of points, not because of this is the quantity that works for somebody else or it was on some sort of meal plan.

Also, if we're going back to the quality, if you are a commitment to a quality. Such as creativity. And I just say that I learned that in a training that I did, which was when you're doing this kind of work with embodiment and embodying a quality, you can use the phrase, I'm a commitment to. Versus I am creative.

So you could say things like I am a commitment to creativity versus I am creative. It just gives you, I think a little bit it's a bit more abstract, but it's a little bit like, these are the things that I'm doing to bring about more creativity instead of I am creative. If your brain's like, no, you're not that creative, right?

I don't really think I'm that creative. That kind of thing. It kind of gets around that. So just a little tip for you. If you are wanting to do this kind of identity work and make a shift in how you're perceiving yourself, instead of saying, I am something that you don't believe, you can say, I'm a commitment to quality. 

So if you are say, if you, if creativity is your quality, you might then think of creative solutions. You might ask for substitutions. If your quality is self confidence, you might never eat out of obligation because you're so self confident in yourself that you are okay with other people having thoughts and feelings about you.

Right. Okay. So when you rely solely on a plan. This isn't available to you. Your brain might freak out if things don't go right on track. But if it's bigger, if you can zoom out and you can think about the bigger picture, it will really help you make a more empowered decision.  The second tip is to focus on non scale victories.

And I actually got that exact phrase from a client who said that was one of her wins is that she was able to direct her mind. To focus on non scale victories and that really helped her keep momentum. Okay. So what are these and why do we want to focus on them? I have a whole list. So just kind of keep in your mind what some non scale victories could be for you.

So maybe the scale is not going down the way that you would want it, but what else is going on for you? How's your energy level? How are you relating to yourself or seeing yourself that might be different than before? Or maybe it's something tangible. How are your clothes feeling lately? Where are you showing up for yourself when it would be easier not to, right?

You want to identify that. When are you doing your stretching or you're going for walks when it would be just as easy to watch TV or stay home? How are you processing and relating to your emotions differently? Are you making progress with allowing more hunger than usual or starting to shift your relationship with hunger?

Meaning, how are you thinking about it slightly differently than you were before?  Maybe you're paying attention to how satisfied or satiated you are while you're eating. Maybe you're allowing a craving to pass, going to bed early, doing more planning or tracking. Maybe it's that you've not released weight, but you've also not gained weight, meaning you're not overeating like you used to.

So some people will get caught up and, oh, I'm not releasing any weight. I've plateaued. And it's doom and gloom and it's very negative. And then what do they do? They start overeating and then they gain all the weight. There's another way to think about it, which is, of course, you've not gained additional weight.

You're maintaining. So yeah, will you have to make some tweaks? Maybe. But we really want to take a look at the fact that you haven't continued to gain, right? You want to be looking at it that way. So why does this matter? It's just too easy to discount all of the tiny decisions, all of the tiny steps of progress that we take on a regular basis, on a day to day basis.

To see weight loss results. And when you do discount all of that progress, you really steal the joy and sense of achievement from the entire process. So you might still get there and you might still be following your protocol, but it would just be with a heavy energy. That's not the least bit fun, right?

You're kind of doing it begrudgingly. You're doing it with almost what I think of it as like low grade emotions. If we think about emotions as fuel, it's low grade. You're doing it, but you're doing it and it doesn't feel good. Okay. So releasing weight is so much about those little decisions that you make every day that slowly add up over time and your brain won't. 

Without prompting, do this on its own. So it won't notice all of those tiny things, all of those tiny winds that you're having. So we need to prompt it. We need to practice it. And we need to use this opportunity right now,  maybe while you're listening to this, just to reflect. What is one thing that you did earlier today or maybe yesterday that is in favor in the realm of weight loss?

What is one, maybe non scale related victory that you've seen recently or that you've created?  It does not have to be big. It might be listening to this right now, right? Because your intention, your focus is to keep your head in the game, to keep. You know, learning more skills to keep focused on your goals.

So when you get in the habit of noticing these tiny wins, you really start to change your identity from someone who struggles at releasing weight to someone who's skilled at it. If you are somebody who is really terrified of the weight coming back on, this is especially powerful work for you to do. It will make the most difference.

Okay, so focus on. Where are things going? Well, what are you doing? Right. So give yourself some credit. And then finally, number three is really just identify why it feels easy right now so that you can recreate it when times get tough. Okay. So now the obvious ones, your brain will go to immediately are your current actions and circumstances. 

So for example, it's working because I'm following my plan. And the reason I'm following my plan is that well. I just retired and I have all of this time to meal prep. Or it's working because, you know, my husband hasn't been eating chips in front of me lately. Or I just started this new job and I've barely had an appetite.

Or I haven't had any time to eat, right? That's why it's working. And sure, that might be helpful to notice in the event that you can recreate those same circumstances, but often that can be really hard to do, if not completely impossible.  Then our brain goes to, well, okay, so I can't recreate that exact situation, but I can recreate the actions.

So all I need to do is follow my eating plan. I'll do the things that keep me on track. Like maybe for you, it's journaling, meditating, working out, planning your meals, all of that stuff. And again, that can be really helpful, but I want you to go even deeper because. The second we start losing momentum, those actions feel impossible.

And we think, how the heck was it so easy before? Why was it so easy? How was it possible? So what is much more helpful is to right now, when things are really going well, and it feels relatively easy, I want you to really pay attention to and even record, write down on paper or on your computer, how you are thinking and feeling right now.

So, what are you thinking when it comes to hunger, food, working out, moving your body or your weight loss and your body itself, right? So, get specific. So, for me right now, I'm in a momentum of ease, okay? Happy to report. So, what am I thinking? I'm thinking, Hunger is my friend. It's not a problem that needs to be fixed.

I can respond whenever it suits me. I'm thinking I can really take it or leave it when it comes to anything sweet or flour foods. So this means, you know, I might have a piece of toast once in a while, but those Christmas cookies that our babysitter made for us that are sitting on the counter, they have no pull whatsoever.

Not a problem. I'm thinking What I'm doing is working, and if it stops working, then I will figure it out. Okay? I will problem solve.  I'm also thinking when it comes to movement,  a 15 minute workout might be all that I have time for today, and that's great. That's okay. It's 100 percent better than doing nothing.

And I don't have to feel like doing it every day. I'm doing a lot of like physical therapy stuff. It's not highly rewarding in terms of how I like to move my body, but I know that I can listen to music and I'll enjoy it more. And I always will feel better afterwards. I'm also thinking that, yeah, my body is not at its natural weight.

I can't even fit into all the clothes that I want to be fitting into, but I don't have to love every single aspect of where my body's at right now. I can still respect it, have reverence for my body. I can even still notice parts that I do like and wear clothes that I feel good at. I can even feel some gratitude that, you know, I can see my ankles again, cause that wasn't always the case when I was pregnant.

Right. And I can also be in awe when I noticed that, you know what, I am gaining some flexibility. Or building strength. So I used to do a lot of kickboxing. I was in great shape a few years ago when I was really working with a personal trainer and kickboxing and working out really intensely. And I could do 50 pushups.

No problem. Right now, when I go to do pushups, I'm doing the pushups with like the knees on the ground and I'm doing 12 and I can start to feel it right. I can get to 20 and I'm really feeling it. Okay, but I'm not comparing myself to then I'm noticing, you know, every day it's going to get a little bit better and better.

And I also am looking forward to getting back in shape and getting back to 50 eventually. Right. There's no timeline. I don't know when that's going to happen, but I'm looking forward to seeing the progress. I'm not beating myself up because wow, I really let my strength go. Right. It's not a big deal. So.

These thoughts make me feel in charge, they make me feel at ease, they make it easy for me to release the weight, they make me feel at peace, I have some gratitude, I have some hope, I have more acceptance versus resistance. Now, why do I emphasize taking the time to tease out this kind of thinking, tease out your thoughts and feelings?

Because. If you get out of momentum at any time, even the smallest thing, you just overeat one day and you're not feeling good. You might try to do the same actions that you're doing now, but without the same kind of thinking and feeling combos that you're having. So you'll be thinking instead, you'll be thinking, I never stick to it.

And then you go into your day trying to allow hunger with that energy of defeat. You're trying to maybe not eat the sugar, the flour, or whatever. So. Don't try to simply recreate the actions without getting your brain to a place where you can be thinking in a way that is at least neutral. Okay, we're not going for like, you know, rainbows and daisies all the time, but at least that's more neutral, such as You know, I overate yesterday, but today's a new day and I am someone who embodies integrity, embodies creativity, whatever it is.

So I'm going to follow through on my decisions today. I'm going to make decisions that really serve me. That's where we're going for. Okay. So just to summarize this for you. If it's going well, if you are making progress, now is a really, really exceptional time to one, choose your North star, right? So that when you, when your plans go out the window, you have clear direction on what to do, how you want to feel in your body.

Maybe your compelling reason, maybe the vision that you have for yourself or the quality that you want to exemplify. Second, is really focus on non scale victories, give yourself some credit. And lastly, identify exactly how you are thinking and feeling right now, because that's why it feels easy.  It's why you are taking the actions that you are to get your current weight loss results.

Because then when you know that you can find your way back to thinking that way, if you do go a little bit off track so you can maintain your momentum. Okay. That's what I have for you. I hope it's helpful. And I will talk to you again soon.