Ep. 75 Overeating Self Assessment Exercise

Hi, and welcome to the Mindful Shape podcast. I'm Paula Parker and I'm a life and weight loss coach. So a challenge for many of us is simply stopping at enough food. So we continue eating past what our bodies actually need for a variety of reasons. Some I'll touch on today so that if this is happening for you, you can one, just understand yourself a little bit better.

So, and hopefully cultivate some self compassion when you understand why this is happening. And then of course, change it if you want to. I will be offering some solutions on exactly how to do that. So I came up with this 10 question self assessment that you can do to help you discern to what degree is this getting in your way of reaching your particular weight loss goal, your natural weight.

So you'll want to do this because oftentimes we are not very specific on where we are right now and where we want to go, right? And so this will be a way to see kind of like where you are on the map, you know, one of those maps like you are here. You'll get to identify, okay, these are the areas in which it's showing up and these are the areas that aren't.

Totally fine. Not a problem. Probably not getting in my way. Another thing is, oftentimes when I do these kinds of things, I notice for myself is you just get perspective as to, oh, I kind of just thought that was normal or how everyone is, but there could be another way. So I also want to show your brain a possibility of where you could go.

If you want, okay. So we often think that what we're doing is the only reality available to us. It's kind of like, I've always been this way around food. This is just how it is for me. We know it could be better than it is, like we suspect it could be better. We often really haven't spent that much time really identifying what that really means for us.

So how this is going to work is I'm going to read out 10 questions of this self assessment. So if you want to do this exercise in real time, as I'm talking, you can go ahead and do that. Just answering yes or no for yourself. If you want to take a little bit more time, do this on paper, with pen and paper.

You can find this list of this self assessment in my resources section on MindfulShape. com. All right, so let's start. So number one is I sometimes eat to over fullness so that I won't get hungry later. Number two, I often feel sluggish an hour after a meal. Number three, I find myself thinking about what I'm going to eat next while I'm currently eating.

Number four, I will finish my plate rather than waste food. Number five, I consider some foods free or healthy, meaning I sometimes eat them to excess. Number six, sometimes it's hard for me to stop because I'm worried I won't get enough or I'll be missing out. Number seven, I avoid my favorite foods because I don't feel in control with them.

Number eight, when I notice I'm overeating, I often feel bad about it, say screw it, and continue eating. Number nine, if food tastes especially delicious, I often ignore how satiated I'm getting. And number ten, I haven't thought about how I want to feel in my body after I eat. Okay, so those are the 10 questions.

So mentally, kind of think about what's your score out of 10. Did you answer yes to quite a few of them? Was there only a couple that you answered yes to? The more that you answered yes to, the more you'll want to just essentially pay attention to what I have to say in this episode because it's really gonna help you to start solving for some of this.

Okay. So also, of course, this is not to make you feel worse, right? It's not to make you mean, Oh God, I'm really further away than I thought I was, or I have so far to go. Instead, just decide that you are someone who is completely capable and strong enough to face where you are now, right? And to be. Tender with yourself, but be honest about where you are.

Of course, give yourself some credit for where you might have already made progress, even in some of these areas that I mentioned and have your own back. You can absolutely get to where you want to go, but first we want to take a look at like, where are we now? Okay. So now I'm just going to go through them one by one, kind of talk about why this happens, how I see this come up and then how, what to do about it.

Number one is, I sometimes eat to over fullness so that I won't get hungry later. This is very, very common. Of course, this stems from a fear of hunger. For those of us who have had a big dieting history, who have restricted, and then kind of gone through that cycle of overeating and restriction, it's like, I feel like our body remembers that, right?

And so there is this fear of hunger, of that, I'm not going to get what I need. And then we lack that trust with our bodies. So. If you are not afraid of hunger, if you understand that physical hunger is natural. It's a healthy request from your body to get food for energy, then it's not a problem. If you also understand that your body is just going to use your fat stores, if it doesn't have food on board, it's not a problem, it's going to do that.

Even in the beginning, if you're more likely to be like a sugar burner rather than fat adapted, podcast before, but essentially you are encouraging your body more often than not to use your fat stores, you're going to release weight, right? And then hunger doesn't feel like such a, of an emergency, both physically, of course, and mentally, because you've seen yourself do it.

It's not a problem. Hunger comes and goes in waves. Okay. The second one is I often feel sluggish an hour after a meal. So I really encourage you to pay attention to not only how are you feeling in terms of your satiation, While you're eating but right after you're eating like immediately after maybe 20 minutes and even an hour after well You have to do this forever.

No, you won't really have to pay that much attention to it because it will be more natural You'll just you'll be much less likely to overeat. But if you were noticing that you're feeling this way It's a sign that either the quantity that you're eating or the type of food that you're eating in that quantity isn't Optimal for your body.

Okay. So if your body is so overburdened Digesting all of that food or the food doesn't sit right in your digestive system with given your constitution Then you're going to feel heavy and lethargic Versus feeling energized and nourished Next one is I find myself thinking about what I'm going to eat next while I'm currently eating I think I mentioned this actually in the last episode And this is just really, again, a sign that you are in your head creating some over desire for food and you're just not as in your body as you could be.

There's likely some emotional hunger that's going on here versus more physical hunger. So your brain might be using food or thoughts about food as a distraction. So if there's something that you're avoiding or some sort of stress or dread or anything like that. Any kind of unease, emotional unease or mental unease, you might find that your brain is putting more emphasis on food, right?

It seems more interesting because it's a healthy, well not healthy, but it's like maladaptive, but it's just a way for your brain to use food as a distraction so that you don't have to feel the discomfort or the pain of other things going on in your life. Alright, the next one is I will finish my plate rather than waste food.

This is also super, super common. Most of us grew up hearing that we needed to finish our plate whether we were hungry or not, whether we were even full or not, right? It was just you had to finish your plate. So And it was not right to waste food. So instead of, you learned, right? Instead of honoring what your body needs and listening to your body, you would overeat.

Oftentimes now it's to prevent that feeling of guilt about wasting food. So what's the solution here? It's super, super simple. You can use this as a simple thought swap. So it's like when you start feeling guilty or you don't want to waste food, simply remember that this food, whether it goes through your body or into the compost is going back to the earth either way.

Okay, so it's going back to the same place from which it came, back to the earth, whether it goes through your body and takes you further away from your weight loss goal and likely makes you feel heavier in your body than you want it, or it's going to go into the compost, in which case you are more likely I'm going to reach your weight loss goal and you're going to feel good in your body.

So whichever one you choose, it's not going to make any difference to the food. Okay. So next is I consider some foods free, meaning I sometimes eat them to excess. What we're talking about here oftentimes is overeating healthy foods. Or sometimes we're turning to calorie free foods, or like frankenfood kind of thing, and then we're overdoing it on those kinds of foods.

So, because we're thinking, oh well this, I can just overdo it here because it won't cause me to gain weight. So this has two effects. One is it continues that reliance on food to meet emotional needs rather than physical ones, which perpetuates, right, that reliance, that over desire for food. One, that's not what we want, right?

Secondly, it makes food into this good or bad, like, morality issue, which can often, for many of us, elicit some rebellion. Like, I know I shouldn't be having this, but I really, really want it, so I'm going to have it anyway. And then we can feel guilt or shame, because, again, if food is good and bad, And we eat good food, then we are good people.

If we eat bad food, then we are bad people. It's just not helpful to be thinking in that way. I would offer it's not true. But even if you're like, well, it is kind of true that there are some good foods and bad foods, fine. If you want to believe that, totally fine. But I would just question, is it helpful?

Does it bring you closer to the relationship that you want with food or further away? So what I think the solution here is, really look into the reasons that you're overeating healthy food. For many of us, we know which foods are going to spike insulin, say sugar and flour. We know that these foods are going to increase.

Fat storage on our bodies and so we will stay away from them or minimize them But then we will continue to overeat what we consider healthy foods and this can be caused from a couple of things it one It could just be a simple nutritional thing like physiological meaning you are not feeling satiated from your food.

If you remember, I don't know if you remember back in the day when we used to eat a lot of Calorie free jello, right? Like you could eat so much of that jello. Of course, there's zero fiber and zero fat So you would eat Huge volumes but not ever feel satiated not ever feel like you were getting anything because you weren't really you weren't getting anything so It could be a matter of, okay, is this some sort of physiological thing going on and I simply need to add more healthy fats and fiber to my meals to feel satiated?

Or is this more of an emotional thing? So I'm compensating, maybe I'm eating large amounts of what I consider healthy food because I'm feeling deprived. Because I'm not eating the foods that I really want to be eating or I'm just feeling like Some sort of like that negative spectrum of emotion So I'm feeling maybe sad or lonely or that kind of thing and turning to food the other solution if you find yourself thinking of food as good or bad is to instead really think of foods on a Continuum in terms of their effect of fat gain and fat loss So, if you are trying to release weight, then of course you want to move towards the side of the continuum that is going to be conducive for fat loss.

So, when somebody asks me, is this an okay food to eat? I encourage you, instead of thinking of it as okay or not okay, or good or bad, is to think, okay, well where is this on the continuum? So, for example, apple juice might be further down and then An apple might be further up. So in terms of what is going to be helpful towards your goals and what is going to be less helpful, not good or bad, just on the continuum somewhere, right?

It just helps you make decisions around food. Okay. Where are we? We are at, sometimes it's hard for me to stop because I'm worried I won't get enough or I'll be missing out. So what is this about? Oftentimes we will have the fear that we are not getting enough calories, or we are not getting enough protein, or not getting enough food in general.

And this really stems from, ironically, the calories in calories out model, which is if I don't eat enough, then I'm going to lower my metabolism and I'm going to gain a bunch of weight. So, that is true and not true. Meaning Yeah, if you are continually eating less and less calories, then your metabolism is going to be affected by that in terms of you won't have any metabolic flexibility, meaning when you do.

optimizes your metabolic flexibility. So if you eat quite a few calories, then your body will not know what to do with it and it will store that food for future restriction. If you're eating in a way that optimizes your metabolic flexibility, meaning you will allow Times where your body uses your fat stores and then you eat without overeating, you're going to have a body that's can really adapt to when you do eat a little bit extra.

The other thing is about that fomo. So give you an example. My husband just recently had a birthday and so we went out for a birthday dinner and we had a gift certificate and I. Sadly wasn't feeling very hungry. So, you know, you go to a nice restaurant. You want to have a good appetite, right? Especially when you have a very generous gift card you want to spend it.

We're not big drinkers. So can't spend it on drinks so I knew that this could be an area that would be for most people and and for my previous self a time when I would just overdo it when I would just overeat when I would bypass how I was feeling in my body and just want to Take advantage of that situation so that I wouldn't be missing out, especially if my husband was eating all the things because he was really hungry.

What I noticed is that I, my now, again, this is not always the case, but now the reason I was able to listen to my body and not overeat during this dinner and not experience any FOMO is Where I was putting my attention. So I was focused on, one, how I was physically feeling and paying attention to that. I was also focused on the conversation with my husband.

Especially for us, it's so rare that we get time away from the kids where we can actually have a conversation like that. So that was very nice and I got a lot of, you know, pleasure out of that. Another thing is I wore I was focused on my clothes because I was wearing an outfit that I really liked, right?

So as you continue to release weight, that likely, that aspect of your world will be more fun, the clothes. And then lastly, it was really, as I reflect, almost like a self respect of not needing the food. Like, I was proud of that in real time. I was like, wow, you know, I am actually somebody who is not feeling all this overdesire for food.

I don't feel like I need it. I feel like I can enjoy myself at this restaurant. And, you know, just looking around, it was a really busy restaurant. I suspect just and also just like being a part of this world, I suspect that wasn't the case for a lot of the people there for a lot of the people there, they might have been feeling a lot of that tug of war of, you know, I'm starting to feel full, or I really shouldn't be eating this and yet I am right, which we all can relate to.

So not to put them down at all, just to say that, wow, it's possible. To not have that as your reality. So another thing that can be helpful for you too, is if you find yourself having that FOMO is just to remember that you can always go back. This isn't the only time that you're going to be maybe at this restaurant or have an opportunity to have this food, whatever it is, or you can also make it at home.

And if your brain is like, well, no, I don't actually think I'm ever going to come back here. That could be true. You might never go back, but then you just want to question, why are you making this so important? Right? Why is this one food so exciting and so interesting? You want to really question that.

Right? You don't want to just take that for granted that that is just the reality. You want to take a look at, well, why? Why am I making this so important? Alright we still have a few to go. Okay, next one is, I avoid my favorite foods because I don't feel in control of them. This isn't freedom around food either, right?

When you are thinking, I cannot have this food. I mean, caveat, right? For some people, you might just say, yeah, I'm clear. This food isn't for me. It doesn't serve me in any way. Fair. I trust you that you completely will understand yourself enough to decide that. But if you were like me, I sort of had this mentality that skinny people didn't eat.

Burgers, for example. I remember, and maybe I've said this on the podcast before, but I remember hearing that, like, Scarlett Johansson said one of her favorite foods was an In N Out burger or something like that. And I remember saying to my sister, like, that's not true. Like, she definitely does not eat that.

Right? And my sister was like, No, I'm pretty sure she probably has a burger every once in a while. But, like, in my head, it was just so all or nothing. But, of course, that's not true. I'm here to tell you that, yes, you can. Eat sugar and flour without gaining weight. It is completely possible. It's completely possible when you have metabolic flexibility that you can have a burger every now and then and you, your weight will stay the same.

You can even release weight even. Okay. Next, when I notice I'm overeating, I often feel bad, say screw it, and continue eating. I want you to imagine having the awareness and self mastery to notice in real time when you're overeating and simply stop without any mind drama. And just be like, huh, I think I might be overdoing it a little bit here and then be done with it.

Put the fork down, not really think about it much. How? How is this possible? This can only happen when you understand that overeating happens sometimes, even for naturally thin people. And of course it's not the end of the world. You don't have to make it mean anything about you. So what do you want to make it mean?

What can you make it mean that will neutralize it a little bit? How about maybe like what you do next? So maybe you drink a bit more water than usual. Maybe you, you know, want to stay hydrated. Maybe you acknowledge the fact that You probably won't be that hungry for your next meal. How might you listen to your body and you're, during your next meal, you might eat a little bit less.

You might not eat at all if you're not that hungry. So, and if you are, of course, that's no problem, then eat, but you'll just be paying attention to, hmm, okay, this could affect what's gonna happen next. Not a big deal. If food tastes delicious, I often ignore how satiated I'm getting. Why does this happen?

Of course this happens because when we have food, especially if we have sugar and flour, it's just going to spike our dopamine, which means we have that drive, our brain is like, oh this is amazing, we need to keep doing this, it's the drive for more. That's why we keep eating despite, you know, the law of diminishing returns.

Despite the fact that as we continue eating, we also have something called habituation in our brain, which is essentially a fancy word for the novelty effect. I mean, we get actually get less pleasure from it as it goes on, but our brain is like, no, no, no. I think we can still get more. I think we can still get more.

And so it wants more. It's that over desire. So what do we do about this? It's not a problem. We just want to pay attention to when that pleasure really starts to go down. We'll start to notice it's less and less and less. This helps if you are slowing down when you eat. Okay. And then just let that be enough.

Okay. Last one. I haven't thought about how I want to feel in my body after I eat. I think that for so many of us who have had a dieting history in which we were so focused on eating the right foods and eating in the right quantities or the right numbers, we forgot that how our bodies feel is even relevant.

Instead, We're trying to walk this impossible tightrope of avoiding hunger at all costs and not eating too much without ever deciding how we want to feel and then eating to encourage that feeling. This is not your fault by the way, okay? So if you, like me, are starting to feel a little bit pissed off about the things that you picked up in your earlier years and how that screwed up, Your relationship with food, you can feel angry about that.

I give you full permission to be angry about that and not to blame yourself. So it doesn't mean you don't take responsibility now. That's what you're doing. That's why you're doing even by doing this self assessment. It's what you're doing is taking responsibility. Like, where am I? And what do I want to do about this?

What can I do about this? That's taking responsibility. But you're not to blame for like being in a diet culture. Being affected by that you're not to blame for that. Okay. So what exactly do I mean by how do you want to feel at times? You will want to feel more grounded Content maybe like a warm cozy fuzzy feeling solid restored Nourished.

You might choose foods like chili or stew or things like that. You might eat a little bit more food because that's how you want to feel. And at other times, you know, given what you're doing, given the time of the year even, you'll want to feel light, airy, energized, fresh. You might choose foods like fruit or salad or tuna, like fish, that kind of thing.

And you might find that you want to eat less food. If you're overeating, you're not likely going to feel like this, right? You're often going to feel uncomfortable, heavy, weighed down, a little bit dehydrated even. Okay, so that is my self assessment. I hope that was helpful for you. I hope that gave you an idea, at least a starting point in terms of, Oh, this is where I am and this is not where I want to be.

Even having that awareness will start the process of being like, okay, well, how do I want to, what's the next step? If this is the area that I want to improve, what's the next step here? And hopefully it will allow you to focus so that you're not overeating during your meals and you're not getting further away from your goals than you want to be.

And of course, if you want that list, you can always find it in my free resources on mindfulshape. com. Okay, bye.