Ep. 54 What's Possible for You? Pam's Story

Hi, and welcome to The Mindful Shape Podcast. I'm Paula Parker, and I'm a life and weight loss coach. Today I have something very different for you. I wanna share with you an interview I did with a client of mine who is truly an example of what's possible through weight loss coaching. I don't know about you, but here's what typically comes up for me when I hear testimonial things: Yeah. Great for her. But her life is totally different than mine.

Like I remember once I listened to this, business coaching one, and it was just like this, where it was somebody talking about their own experience and the whole time my brain was filled with Yeah. Buts. Yeah. But she already had a business that she was running previously and had lots of experience.

Yeah. But she didn't have to worry about the. Like her finances or, Yeah, but she already had a great network and a huge email list on and on and on. And so whenever I would hear someone else's success story, there was always this big, level of doubt in my mind, like a big caveat. And I would feel separate from them and definitely not any closer to what I wanted.

And then there was this one time when I was listening to the business, this business podcast, same one, and she was featuring this woman who was a weight loss coach for quilters here on Vancouver Island. That's who she coaches specifically. And maybe for the first time I thought, Hmm. Well if she can do it, maybe I can do it.

I know it makes no logical sense, but the fact that her and I shared those two things in common, we both lived here on the planet in the same spot, and we both focused on weight loss. It was just enough for my brain to get on board. So I bought that coaching program and the same one that she did, the one that she was, talking about in the testimonial, and it literally changed my.

So it changed my business. It totally changed how I was thinking about what I could achieve, and it gave me the tools that I needed. So all that to say, I just wanna acknowledge the natural resistance that we might have, and that you might have when hearing even this podcast, this story I'm about to share with you.

And anytime you hear other people's success as well. The fact that this other coach, the weight loss coach for quilters that she had success in that business program was definitely not a guarantee that I would as. Of course not, right? But it did offer my brain just enough belief in the possibility that I decided to sign up, and it really did change my life.

So I'm about to share Pam's story with you. Her circumstances, her history with weight and food will be different in some ways, and in some ways they'll be very similar to you. My goal in sharing the story is that it might open up your brain to what could be possible for you. So if that natural resistance comes up, it's not a problem.

You're gonna learn how she went from gaining and losing over and over to finally releasing 20 pounds and eating in a way that feels really sustainable. So I'm super excited to share her story. Here it goes. Okay, so let's get started.

INTERVIEW:

Paula: What was your goal coming in and why was it important to you?

Pam: So my, goal coming in was to finally lose the weight and keep it off.

I've gained and lost 50 pounds several times trying every diet known to man, I think. And so this last diet I did was in 2018 where I lost over 15, 50 pounds and it was, uh, eating small meals every two to three hours. And, um, I lost it quickly. And, but I found myself gaining again once I started eating.

And so I gained about 15 to 20 pounds during Covid. Lost it, kept gaining it back, lost it, kept gaining it back. And so I wanted to finally get off that little hamster wheel for you. Okay. What do you think was holding you back from keeping the weight off? Um, I think there's so much information out there on how to diet and what best way to lose weight, um, that I was.

Confused and I was finding myself, I used to think that eating every two to three meals was what you were supposed to do. That it made you, um, made your metabolism get faster. Um, but I found myself eating when I wasn't hungry just because it was two to three hours and it was time to eat. And I found myself eating when I wasn't hungry.

And so I really wanted to learn how. Be a thin person. And then what drew you to working with me and trying coaching? So somehow I found your podcast , and I don't remember how I, We talked about that. I don't remember how I found it, but I know I was searching for a way to be okay with my body no matter what, and I was thinking that was what the podcast was gonna be about, that maybe it's okay to be okay if I'm not at my ideal weight.

My mother was a very large woman. She didn't care and she was happy. And so I wanted to find a way to be happy with myself no matter what I weighed. And so I listened to the podcast. Um, I really liked the messaging. I liked your technique. I liked your personality. Um, I got on your website. downloaded all the free stuff and was reading all of your materials and it just hit home to me.

Paula: What were some of your, um, concerns or worries if you had any before you started coaching?

Pam: I'm not very good at digging deep into my feelings, and so that concerned me. Um, I tend to shove my feelings down and try to be put on a brave face and be happy and. I wanted to be able to delve in a little bit, and plus spending that money was a little concerning.

Not that I didn't have it, but I was afraid that I was gonna spend that money and fail. And so it was like, Do you really wanna do this and are you worth it? And so I determined that I was worth it. So amazing. Okay. And so tell me a little bit about how you were feeling before we started working together in terms of feeling about yourself, feeling about your body and your relationship with food.

Well, I have a tendency not to like how I look. I had people my whole life say, You're such a pretty girl. You'd be so much prettier if you lost one . And so that is in your head your whole life. And so, I didn't like how I looked without my clothes on because after I lost that weight, it was pretty, I lost a lot of muscle.

I felt like my skin was sagging. I just really did not like the way I looked. And so, It made me feel like a failure because I kept gaining the weight and so that added to, you're a bad person and I could find myself overeating, whether it was for happiness, sadness, overeating, over drinking, whatever.

And then it didn't serve me well cuz it made me feel bad not just in my body, but in my mind.

Paula: Yeah. Both physically and emotionally. How do you feel now?

Pam: Now I feel great. I'm in more control. I'm positive that I have the tools to keep the weight off. Mm-hmm. , I'm not always on protocol. I mean, I go away on trips all the time.

I just went away for six nights, seven days. We were in Texas and I actually came back and gained five pounds, but in one day I've already lost two and a half. So I know what to do to get it off. . Um, I do have more energy and I only eat two meals a day, which I never thought was possible. Sometimes just one meal a day.

I don't get nervous about. My stomach growling and being hungry. And, um, I'm okay with being hungry and I don't beat myself up anymore. And it was interesting being with my gal friends, some of 'em, the one gal she always has to eat. She's a, they say she gets hang, you know, and she doesn't eat. And I'm like, four hours on a golf course now without eating and I feel fine. So, but they, it, it was just funny. They just have to eat and so I'm like, well, I'm good. You know? So your body is so fat. Adapting it. Yeah. It's freeing not to have to be worried about when I'm gonna get my next meal. And that's how I was with that Every two to three hours.

Paula: What has been your favorite part about doing this work?

Pam: I think just researching all your materials and the self-coaching and then the one-on-one coaching has helped me immensely. It's changed the way I think about myself and in general about my life. I treat myself better - just by using the words like you always say, I said I should have done this, and you said No, you could have done this. And so I do that. I catch myself saying that a lot I should have, and it went, no, I could have. And so it is all about a choice. I could have not had that second glass of wine, but I did. So what?!

Paula: You went from 168 to 1 48 in six months. Which is 20 pounds. You released 20 pounds. What other transformations did you get? You've spoken a little bit about how you relate to yourself differently. Don't beat yourself up as much. What would you say was like the biggest transformation outside of the weight loss?

Pam: Well, I don't know if this is out. I mean, this is probably still within the weight loss, but I'm not snacking anymore, so that's huge. Yeah. I listen to my body when I'm hungry and how much I'm eating, the levels of satiation and all of that. I actually used to be the Clean Plate Club person, you know, the starving children in China when we were growing up.

Sometimes I share a meal with somebody and I don't eat foods that I don't like. I feel life is too short to eat things that you don't like or that aren't gonna serve me well. So, that's been a big thing. And then just the idea, like we said, being able to play golf and all the energy I get from not eating and just letting my fat adapted body give me the energy.

Paula: Yeah. And that's one of the things that you had brought up, um, in our sessions together is how you applied the same tools to your golf game. Tell me about how coaching impacted that area of your.

Pam: Well, I had a very successful year this year in golf, and I attribute it to the tools that I learned here where I don't beat myself up because of a bad shot.

I have more patience with myself. I have a vision of what I want to do and I set out and I try to accomplish it, whether it's going to the course and practicing to do better at my next time. I wasn't successful on my singles match this time, and I lost my match and we lost by one point, which would've been my match point.

There were others that lost also. So it wasn't just me, but mine was the last one in . And so I was very upset with myself and I was concentrating on all the bad things that I did during the round. And I had to go, Okay, wait a minute. Look at all the good things you did. You know? And so I changed that whole way of thinking, and it helped me because, It was over and then we were celebrating.

We took fifth place out of 48. We really did really well, and we were only like six tenths of a point from first place. Normally I would've just, I would still be beating myself up and it, That doesn't serve you well in golf at all if you're thinking that way, and it doesn't serve yourself in life. And so I'm really focusing on just the positives now, what surprised you the most about doing this work? I think just the way I think about food and myself. I used to struggle with it my whole life using food with emotional support, whether it was good times or bad. And now if I get a craving, I choose to submit to it if I want to.

However, I also now start going, Okay, why are you feeling this way? Like, when we got back from the tournament, a lot of times I, I, I'm alone here, so I start feeling sad that I'm alone. And then I'm going, I've got a candle burning and it's pumpkin. And it's like, it smells like I'm baking in here and I'm hungry,

And it's not that I'm hungry, it's like I'm a little sad that my tournament is over. And, and so I had to start thinking, Well, what is, what are you doing? Why are you feeling sad? And, and I, I recognize now when. Feeling like I want to eat. Yeah. That it's really an emotional thing normally.

Paula: It's such a huge skill to be able to identify the difference between physical, real, physical hunger and emotional hunger.

So what else surprised you about doing this work?

Pam: That I don't let the scale affect my mood anymore. I used to get on the scale and if I had a good week and I didn't lose, I would be really upset with myself. And then it. Sometimes turn into me, Well, this doesn't help. I'm gonna just eat now. And so I, I don't do that anymore.

I mean, you said it's just a number, it's data. That's all it is. And it doesn't mean whether I was good or bad. And I'm trying not to say those words either, you know? So it's like, I just say, Oh, I was good today.

Paula: That's so huge, right? Because the number on the scale so often - that's how our whole day goes unless we can manage our mind around that. What do you think other women need to know about reaching their weight loss goal and keeping it off?

Pam: So I think the most important thing I've learned in this process is not to limit myself. I used to think that I could never get. To the, my lowest goal I had no, I, I thought 150 was probably gonna be my goal because I'm a big girl.

I have a lot of, you know, I'm a large person. My one leg is as big as people's two legs, , you know, kinda thing. But you would say, Well, how do you know you can't get there? And it's like, Oh, well, okay. So now I've set my goal at 1 40, 1 45, and I'm going to see what happens. If I get there, fine. If I don't, fine.

It's all good. But I think if you follow the protocol, and I've not been a hundred percent on protocol, I go up and down this whole six months, but I know that I can get back right back on it and I lose it. And so I look at it as it is a journey. It’s like your last podcast was about, you know, the people that one person who just followed it completely and the other one kind of went back and forth.

I was the back and forth person, but I, I think it, it makes life more doable. I still can drink with my friends and, you know, have a beer after golf. And so it's, it's livable. And so I look at it as the only time that you're gonna fail is if you totally give up.

Paula: Well, what's next for you on this?

Pam: Well, so I'm going to spend the winter months getting in shape. Uh, I'm gonna continue trying to get down to between 140 and 1 45 to give myself a little bit of leeway. I signed up to a new yoga shop or studio. It's like five minutes away. And so one of my girlfriends moved close, so we went over for our first yoga this morning at 6 45.

So I'm gonna be doing that and I'm also going to be working on my golf game. I really wanna lower my handicap. I'm an 11 right now. I'd like to get to a single digit. Just like with my weight loss, a lot of times with my golf game, if I get too low, I think, Oh, you're not that good, You know, And so then it goes back up, and so I'm going to be using the tools that I've learned here, and I'm going to be continuing listening to your podcasts and hopefully just living my best life as a thinner, healthier.

Paula: Nice. Amazing. Well, thank you so much for sharing your story and being so open and honest about your journey and the ups and downs. And also I just wanna congratulate you again for like your amazing success. I'm super, super happy for you. So thanks again for doing this little interview with me as well.

Pam: Thank you.